Thursday, October 20, 2011

My favorite zombie movie told in the perspective of a five year old me!

It is almost Halloween after all right? I just thought I’d share some thoughts on my favorite genre horror movie, as told with my five year old self.

So David, what are your five favorite zombie movie?

Hi David! I got a ball… I like to go up the stairs and drop the ball. Heh heh! It’s funny! These movies are awesome. Watch them with me in case the zombies come out of the screen like they did in The Video Dead. :-(

Favorite zombie movie: Return of the Living Dead – This one scary! It’s about these guys and girls with colored hair (and one girl is nekkid!) and they come to the cemetery. Then they open the cemetery and they go in. Then they play music and dance! (and one girl is nekkid!)

At the big warehouse next to the cemetery where the colored hair people are this old guy tells this young guy that there is zombies downstairs. The young guy says he’s fucking kidding but the old guy says he ain’t. So the old guy and the young guy went downstairs to the drums of zombies. The old one is stupid because he hits the drum and zombie gas comes out.

After nap time the two guys wake up and go upstairs, but the in half dogs on the sticks come to life and the dead body in the freezer comes to life and they call their boss. Their boss comes over and says cuss words a lot until they cut up the zombies into little pieces and bring them to the funeral guy.
The colored hair people are now walking around and being mean to each other. (and one girl is nekkid!)

The people at the funeral guys place burn the zombie parts and gas comes up really high outside. It makes it rain and the stuff goes into the ground to make zombies! The colored hair people come out of the rain into the big warehouse and they find a big slimy blood monster who eats the jerk guy's brains. Then they come outside and the zombies are there! The zombies run and chase the colored hair people (and one girl is nekkid!) and they split up. One people go to the funeral guy’s house and the others go to the big warehouse… Um… House!

But the one girl who is nekkid is stupid because she stopped running and got aten. They aten her brains and then they wanted more brains so they went to the two places with the young guy and the old guy and the boss and the funeral guy and the colored hair people (but not the nekkid one! She dead!)

The people at the funeral guys board up it and then a zombie hand comes through the boards and eats this Mohawk guy’s brains. They cut her in half and put her on a table. She says she wants brains and I was like “DUH”!

Then the boss guy and the black guy go into a car and drive to the big warehouse place. The funeral guy and nice girl are left with the old guy and the young guy, who turn into zombies. So the funeral guy brings the nice girl to his attic and points a small gun to her head. He doesn’t kill her though which is stupid because I don’t like girls.

The cops come and the nekkid girl comes back and eats cops!
The boss and the black guy come to the warehouse and they find the slimey blood zombie so they hit its head off and go downstairs. They find the broken drum and call the army so they fire a nuclear bomb on the place and it blows up!

Then the gassy stuff comes again and makes more zombie rain!

It was cool! They go boom! It was a good movie! I wanna watch it again!

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