Grilled Cheese From Hades!
By: David McGhee
I am currently eating a delicious grilled cheese samich with four, count them, four apple slices. I owe all this and more to my best beau Franky Poo. He doesn't really poo all that much though. But I find that it fits.
More about the samich. It has been manufactured with pepper jack cheese. Some deliciously delicious gourmet white bread, and a panini press. Holy shit this is awesome!
I just ate my apples. I miss them now. Without apples how will I tame the fire in my mouth that will surely ensue if I ingest this wonderful piece of foodstuffs! Oh poor me.
I'm diving in now.
First bite: Crunchy and full of butter spread goodness. Oh! Oh! I can taste the pepper jack cheese now. It's so spicy! It wants me to eat more. I will keep you all informed as this major media event goes down.
Second bite: Well, I'm holding in there. I remember being little and eating grilled cheese samiches. Although I remember nothing about that ever happening. But I know it did. Perhaps David medicatedeth too much whilst a young boy? A young boy with jiggly!
Third bite: Okay dudes and bitches. Shit just got real. I'm like eating this samich and this dude on a bike comes by. He ain't all that pretty but I let him pass me just the same. Stupid not attractive bike riders.
Fourth bite: Then a tall, handsome bike rider came by and was all like “What's up?” I was all like “Nothin' homie.” And he was all “Coo.” And I was all like “Coo.” You know. Cause' we coo.
Fifth bite: I love it when Frank buys great cheese! It's totally real cheese too! I am thinking about making this a daily habit. That and bike shorts.
I would like to inform you more on my gastrothingy, but the time has come... For me to watch Monster's University! Hurray! I love free Redbox rentals. :-D
More on this in a few...
...Well. It's been one hundred and four minutes since starting that movie. And now I'm done. Monster's University was, flat out, not as good as the first one. Or the second one? It's a prequal. Meaning that it takes place before the first one. Something like that.
I was personally offended with this movie and it's lack of explicit monster sex. Plus where was the booze and drugs? Why when I was in college I did crack! It kinda got me some bad grades and shit... Crack and cocaine and heroin ruined my life. I like drugs because they are better than any other antidepressant or antipsychotic. I'm never sad on drugs, aside from when the cops bust me. That's always a buzzkill.
Now I don't even drink. I smoke the green stuff but so what? What are you my mom? Because if you were then you'd be dead. Why would a dead person read my blog? That's just gross.
Speaking of gross. Female pubes Eeewww...
I know what you are all thinking now. Why mention the pubes when there are three fingers being chewed on all day and night by Mrs. Vickie. Yes, Mrs. Vickie drank her high ball and always invited all the pizza men and milkman (They still exist!) into her living room. Where she'd drink more vodka and talk about how Roger don't know how to please a woman. What happens next is usually the guy's fault. I mean, she is pretty hot. So warm and pudding like...
I was reading Stephen King when I farted. His writing is very fart. If I could fart Stephen King I'd fart him about my fart and his book fart. It farted me so very much. :-)