I used to go out a lot. I was pretty well known by the old scene crowd (although some over thirty elitists would disagree on the decade in which said old scene occurred. I’m looking at you Tom!) so when I got a little bit of money together I decided to go back down on south Broadway to the old hang out spots. It had been planned the week before with my best pal Erin; I’d buy this week if she would buy the next.
It was a sunny Friday afternoon and to be honest I was pissed off that it had not been cooler that day. I prefer to dress up in as many layers as I can normally. Stupid weather…
As I waited at the bus stop with Erin and her daughter Victoria I began to notice all the cracks in the sidewalk surrounding me and the anxiety was showing in my face. Erin looks over at me and begins to laugh. Apparently my little quirks amuse her. Well, better that than her being freaked out by me, which happens more often than not.
The 0 bus came up to its stop on seventeenth and California and the two were up and ready to get on the bus, but I slowed things down by avoiding all the cracks in the ground. I do this when I’m nervous; I haven’t been down in that area in so very long. It felt like I was going to an intervention or something. I was just expecting Matt and Allison to just show up and give me lip about my three drink limit at Sputnik. It’s really not all that bad and it’s most likely in my best interests. But I just didn’t want to hear it that day though.
The bus dropped us off on Ellsworth and Broadway and it all immediately flooded back to me. The place where Fancy Tiger was was once the home of Chielle. That was a cool place. Old time scenesters Sara Tea, Wendy Marlow, and Alisa Dowel used to own it until they went their separate ways and moved to east Colfax and then to that great boutique shop in the sky. I liked Sara Tea. I once wrote a song about her and everyone always asked why I would list such horrible drug substances in the chorus. It had nothing to do with her. It was just some of the things that I had tried to get my frequent migraines to go away; Percoset, alcohol, vicoden and cocaine. Although I wouldn’t recommend the latter because you will only want more and the high goes away after you’ve been doing it for a week. Plus it’s freaking expensive!
Instead of telling kids that they shouldn’t do drugs their parents should just make them buy them with their own money. Sheesh!
Anyways… We got off at our stop and head toward Go Fish on the right side of Sputnik. It’s a very good sushi place and cheap at that. If only they gave out hot towels and had wasabi bloody Marys it would be the totes! Erin and I had a cigarette while Victoria fidgeted around the entrance until we were ready. Once inside the waiter sat us at an outside table and gave us the menu and drink list. Erin had made me promise that I was going to have sake. I decided to go all out and ordered pineapple sake with some sort of honey beer. Both were disgusting but I drank them up anyways, for Erin’s sake of course. Then I drank hers and we ordered more and by the time the sushi was ordered I was pretty hammered. The proof in this pudding had to be the amount of sushi I had ordered. When it came Erin and I were speechless. Victoria pointed at me and started laughing about how much of a drunk I am. I had ordered a fucking party tray it seemed, a very, very expensive party tray.
But life is too short to waste time grumbling about stupid and delicious decisions.
The only cure for this was more sake. By the time we finished I had two to go boxes and an itch to go over to Mutiny Now across the street and pillage books like a literary Viking, sans the rape of course. As I signed my name on my card receipt and the waiter brought over three complementary glasses of sake, Erin and I were dumbstruck because Victoria was underage, although she was just fourteen she could easily pass for twenty one. At least now I suppose she could. Wow…
What happened next is a source of controversy amongst us consenting adults and one adolescent. After all that jazz we headed off to Mutiny Now and I think I bought a Chuck Palahniuk book. I can’t really remember because I have so many books and I was drunk at the time. That could explain where this book about male hookers getting raped to death with dildos came from. I probably asked the owner for a recommendation or something. So far I’m at the part where the psychiatrist bangs a tranny.
When that was over we went back across the street and into Sputniks. I was hoping to see someone I knew so I began investigating while my two female friends found a spot at the bar. To no avail I went back outside and saw that the Hi Dive was open. I didn’t want to abandon my friends but I wanted to see if I could find someone I knew. Going in was like a flash back to the old times. I can’t even begin to describe the many times I have fallen off that stage drunk… It was empty anyway except for Nathanial Radcliff and his group of two. That familiar adrenalin rush went through my head and with a smile on my face I went up to him and say what’s up.
I got up near him at the bar; he still wasn’t paying any attention to me so I tapped his shoulder and got his attention.
And this is what I said… “I hate you.”
Nate laughed and slapped me on my back and asked how I’ve been. I told him that I had been diagnosed with Aspergers and that’s why I am so out there. He didn’t believe me at first but I said it a second time and he said “Whatever”, which is the best response that one could hope for with this guy. And with a smile and a heavy heart I left them be. I had nothing more to say to him and he was trying to mack on his woman so I came back to Sputnik and sat at the bar beside my friends. The bartender came up, a cute guy with a hipster beard, and asked us what we wanted to drink. Erin wanted to get the fruitiest girl drink they had and he gave her something that looked like it had been aborted by a gay pineapple. I forgot the exact name but it was definitely stronger than my white Russian. So when I finished that I ordered a long island and told the guy to cut me off after three drinks. I got my long island and started to bullshit with the bartender. After a while I asked him if he remembered me but he said no. It will take me a little while to get used to this new scene.
Whilst drunken off my ass I decided to whip out Erin’s laptop and do my psych homework. I would have gotten a ninety if I hadn’t listened to her… And in my drunken stupor I accused her as being everything that is wrong with my life. But this was remedied with a few more sips of her strange brew. Then all was good again.
After that it was pretty much a blur. A cab was called and I think I left a ten dollar tip for the bartender with the cute butt; he in turn hugged me with his big manly hipster arms. Either way it was a good time for all involved.
The next morning I awoke in my underwear with no sheets on and the sushi to go containers had been left out on the floor from the night before. With a moment’s hesitation I started to eat said contents. A little day old raw fish never hurt nobody.
…At least nobody I know of.