I used to go out a
lot. I was pretty well known by the old scene crowd (although some over thirty
elitists would disagree on the decade in which said old scene occurred. I’m
looking at you Tom!) so when I got a little bit of money together I decided to
go back down on south Broadway to the old hang out spots. It had been planned
the week before with my best pal Erin; I’d buy this week if she would buy the
next.
It was a sunny
Friday afternoon and to be honest I was pissed off that it had not been cooler
that day. I prefer to dress up in as many layers as I can normally. Stupid
weather…
As I waited at
the bus stop with Erin and her daughter Victoria I began to notice all the
cracks in the sidewalk surrounding me and the anxiety was showing in my face.
Erin looks over at me and begins to laugh. Apparently my little quirks amuse
her. Well, better that than her being freaked out by me, which happens more
often than not.
The 0 bus came up to
its stop on seventeenth and California and the two were up and ready to get on
the bus, but I slowed things down by avoiding all the cracks in the ground. I
do this when I’m nervous; I haven’t been down in that area in so very long. It
felt like I was going to an intervention or something. I was just expecting
Matt and Allison to just show up and give me lip about my three drink limit at
Sputnik. It’s really not all that bad and it’s most likely in my best
interests. But I just didn’t want to hear it that day though.
The bus dropped us
off on Ellsworth and Broadway and it all immediately flooded back to me. The
place where Fancy Tiger was was once the home of Chielle. That was a cool
place. Old time scenesters Sara Tea, Wendy Marlow, and Alisa Dowel used to own
it until they went their separate ways and moved to east Colfax and then to
that great boutique shop in the sky. I liked Sara Tea. I once wrote a song
about her and everyone always asked why I would list such horrible drug
substances in the chorus. It had nothing to do with her. It was just some of
the things that I had tried to get my frequent migraines to go away; Percoset,
alcohol, vicoden and cocaine. Although I wouldn’t recommend the latter because
you will only want more and the high goes away after you’ve been doing it for a
week. Plus it’s freaking expensive!
Instead of telling
kids that they shouldn’t do drugs their parents should just make them buy them
with their own money. Sheesh!
Anyways… We got off
at our stop and head toward Go Fish on the right side of Sputnik. It’s a very
good sushi place and cheap at that. If only they gave out hot towels and had
wasabi bloody Marys it would be the totes! Erin and I had a cigarette while Victoria
fidgeted around the entrance until we were ready. Once inside the waiter sat us
at an outside table and gave us the menu and drink list. Erin had made me
promise that I was going to have sake. I decided to go all out and ordered
pineapple sake with some sort of honey beer. Both were disgusting but I drank
them up anyways, for Erin’s sake of course. Then I drank hers and we ordered
more and by the time the sushi was ordered I was pretty hammered. The proof in
this pudding had to be the amount of sushi I had ordered. When it came Erin and
I were speechless. Victoria pointed at me and started laughing about how much
of a drunk I am. I had ordered a fucking party tray it seemed, a very, very
expensive party tray.
But life is too
short to waste time grumbling about stupid and delicious decisions.
The only cure for
this was more sake. By the time we finished I had two to go boxes and an itch
to go over to Mutiny Now across the street and pillage books like a literary
Viking, sans the rape of course. As I signed my name on my card receipt and the
waiter brought over three complementary glasses of sake, Erin and I were
dumbstruck because Victoria was underage, although she was just fourteen she
could easily pass for twenty one. At least now I suppose she could. Wow…
What happened next
is a source of controversy amongst us consenting adults and one adolescent.
After all that jazz we headed off to Mutiny Now and I think I bought a Chuck
Palahniuk book. I can’t really remember because I have so many books and I was
drunk at the time. That could explain where this book about male hookers
getting raped to death with dildos came from. I probably asked the owner for a
recommendation or something. So far I’m at the part where the psychiatrist
bangs a tranny.
When that was over
we went back across the street and into Sputniks. I was hoping to see someone I
knew so I began investigating while my two female friends found a spot at the
bar. To no avail I went back outside and saw that the Hi Dive was open. I
didn’t want to abandon my friends but I wanted to see if I could find someone I
knew. Going in was like a flash back to the old times. I can’t even begin to
describe the many times I have fallen off that stage drunk… It was empty anyway
except for Nathanial Radcliff and his group of two. That familiar adrenalin
rush went through my head and with a smile on my face I went up to him and say
what’s up.
I got up near him at
the bar; he still wasn’t paying any attention to me so I tapped his shoulder
and got his attention.
And this is what I
said… “I hate you.”
Nate laughed and
slapped me on my back and asked how I’ve been. I told him that I had been
diagnosed with Aspergers and that’s why I am so out there. He didn’t believe me
at first but I said it a second time and he said “Whatever”, which is the best
response that one could hope for with this guy. And with a smile and a heavy
heart I left them be. I had nothing more to say to him and he was trying to
mack on his woman so I came back to Sputnik and sat at the bar beside my
friends. The bartender came up, a cute guy with a hipster beard, and asked us
what we wanted to drink. Erin wanted to get the fruitiest girl drink they had
and he gave her something that looked like it had been aborted by a gay pineapple.
I forgot the exact name but it was definitely stronger than my white Russian.
So when I finished that I ordered a long island and told the guy to cut me off
after three drinks. I got my long island and started to bullshit with the
bartender. After a while I asked him if he remembered me but he said no. It
will take me a little while to get used to this new scene.
Whilst drunken off
my ass I decided to whip out Erin’s laptop and do my psych homework. I would
have gotten a ninety if I hadn’t listened to her… And in my drunken stupor I
accused her as being everything that is wrong with my life. But this was
remedied with a few more sips of her strange brew. Then all was good again.
After that it was
pretty much a blur. A cab was called and I think I left a ten dollar tip for the
bartender with the cute butt; he in turn hugged me with his big manly hipster
arms. Either way it was a good time for all involved.
The next morning I
awoke in my underwear with no sheets on and the sushi to go containers had been
left out on the floor from the night before. With a moment’s hesitation I
started to eat said contents. A little day old raw fish never hurt nobody.
…
…At least nobody I know of.
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