Friday, May 16, 2014

Why Penises are Awesome!

It's awesome having a penis. Am I right fellas? Penises are just great. I like many varieties of penises. Small, medium, and large. Although larger ones are harder to get in your poop hole... People always want a big penis but I say that I think all penises are awesome.

Have a micro penis? Awesome! Hung like Mr Ed? Erm... Good for you!

Sorry I haven't posted in so long. Both uninspired and bored. Things have gotten better. I've been seeing more penises lately. It's been a good few months.

My new band just made a new album. We are The Vanilla Milkshakes and our new album is called “How to Ruin Friendships and Influence Douche Bags.” You can hear it here: and then buy it on iTunes! It's that awesome! Or buy it from Bandcamp. Either way it's cool.

My favorite song on the album is “Dance! Robot! Dance!” but everyone else likes “Kreep” and “At Odds With God.” Also “Brand New Sound” is also a goodie!

Other than that, I've been thinking about penises lately. Many of them. All side by side and shaking each others hand. I'd go to a nude beach but there'd just be a bunch of unattractive people there. Why don't nudists work out?

Oh yeah. I've started to work out. Going to be all sexy and skinny for the sex and skinny that will come about this summer. Fifty push ups and sit ups a day to start off. Plus some jogging. I feel tight everywhere. I just want to look good naked. Maybe go to a nude beach and show them old folks how it's done.

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