Nookie
- A psychoanalysis
By:
David McGhee
“I
came into this world as a reject”
Apparently mocking the fact that Fred Durst himself grew up an
awkward skating kid of minimal means. He had yet to find a confidence
that certain wellness level of self esteem that would not come until
after the third album. Selling ten million albums and having a girl
scream night after night “Fred, you're the best!” in an unironic
tone and faculties will do that to a man.
"Look
into these eyes
Then
you'll see the size of these flames
Dwellin
on the past
Its
burnin' up my brain
Everyone
that burns has to learn from the pain"
Fred
Durst has a hesitation to let go of his past. Both himself and others
probably had a lot of shit going on back then during his formative
years. It seems to me that Mr. Durst suffers from a form of rage
disorder. If I am not correct, I believe it would be Narcissistic
Personality Disorder due to his inability to let go certain instances
where his masculinity was called into question - “Hey fag!” or
a girlfriend left him or / and spread awful rumors about his penis,
of which he appears to be very emotionally attached to are fine
theoretical examples. To him he cared enough for the girl (maybe, but
in this researcher's opinion I believe that his lyrics demonstrate a
fondness of the female sex organs. It is this understanding on how
Fred Durst views woman, that I believe he did in fact, do it all for
the nookie) He yearns for for his three minutes and resents the
person of objection and he is caught in a self repeating cycle of
reliving that May-December romance of his and its bitter resolution.
"Hey
I think about the day
My
girlie ran away with my pay
When
fellas come to play
No
she stuck with my homeez that she fucked"
A
victim of even a petty crime may develop Post Traumatic Stress
Disorder when lacking the proper skills and sometimes medication that
may prevent the event to become it's own pathway by process of
Neurogenesis, where the brain grows new neurons and brain tissue to
accommodate anything new that the brain has acquired through habit
consisting of thirty days or more.
If
you mind my saying, adding insult to injury had to be the
aforementioned “homeez that she fucked” conundrum. He had good,
loyal friends. But despite his sense of loyalty and partaking in the
occasional orgy or game of limp biscuit, where a circle jerk
ejaculates onto a biscuit, the last one to “cum” had to eat the
said biscuit.
Side
note: Their name, as Durst put it, was designed by its very nature
to offend people and prevent those without an open mind from
listening to their music. In a sense he was demonstrating his
loyalty to the punk movement. He had been a skater punk who also
enjoyed hip hop. But the fact that he himself was knowledgable on
the practice makes one wonder whether there is some pent up
homosexual tendencies from not experimenting during his younger
years or just does not feel comfortable with tackling even such a
dramatic shift of character and / or just does not have the capacity
to process such stimuli.
Continued
– It is to be assumed that after the bitter disinvestment in each
other as lovers she routinely engaged in intercourse with said
“homeez”. Rendering future involvement with the comrades who part
took in that sweet sweet tang of Durst's hot spring of warm nether
regions practically intolerable.
"And
I'm just a sucker with a lump in my throat
Hey,
like a chump
Should
I be feelin' bad? No
Should
I be feelin good? No
Its
kinda sad I'm the laughin' stock of the neighborhood
You
would think that I'd be movin' on
But
I'm a sucker like I said
Fucked
up in the head, not!"
It
appears that the particular area of residence that Fred Durst had
sheltered during the time of said relationship had been very
concerned with the concept of retaining archaic lines of thought
process and belittling anybody who fell out of the role of their
gender when it came to extra relational affairs. It is my rudimentary
understanding of such beasts that has me to think that by being
called gay, thems fighting words.
Again
this comes to his pre-fame financial deficit that forced him to live
in low rent areas where it is known that many people with extensive
criminal records and dalliances with illegal narcotics were tolerated
on the level that you cause no commotion, you stay in motion. This
also puts a higher chance of interacting with people of low IQ and /
or of limited means.
He
then goes on to depreciate himself with the lyrics “But I'm a
sucker like I said.” Only to rescind his remark in the most
juvenile of expressions.
"Maybe
she just made a mistake
I
should give her a break
My
heart will ache either way
Hey,
what the hell
Watcha
want me to say
I
wont lie that I cant deny"
Although
he has used her for sexual alliances in the past, he feels that just
thinking of her in any way, shape, or form seems to trigger a mild
case of Post Traumatic Disorder, as previously explained.
[Chorus]
"I
did it all for the nookie
C'mon
The
nookie
C'mon
So
you can take that cookie
And
stick it up your, ass!!
Stick
it up your, ass!!
Stick
it up your, ass!!"
This
in the we psychology professionals and students call emotional
transference. You see, he has been so traumatized by the repeated
deflowering of his mate at the hands (citation needed) of his fellow
testosterone fueled misogynists, he embarks on the thought process
that by making her the passive one in the relationship, he has
effectively recaptured his sense of physical and mental well being.
He has recaptured his sense of manhood by making her into an object
to be thrown away after use, despite his obviously ill advised
attachment to a woman who is no longer receptive to his romantic
advances. He has regained his sense of dominance as a male. And in
doing so, has penned lyrics that often contradict himself and show
his underlying lack in proper social skills.
His
mantra to stick cookie up the anal orafice of his former lover also
demonstrates Durst's deeply repressed fascination with homosexual
intercourse. Which is also evident in the the homosexual reference in
the name of his musical combo. The fact that it is a cookie present
some deeply troubling revelations about the extent of his sexual
repression. Perhaps conventional genitalia is deemed as too
traditional and pursues other avenues of filling an anal cavity.
"Why
did it take so long?
Why
did I wait so long, huh
To
figure it out? but I did it
And
I'm the only one underneath the sun who didn't get it
I
cant believe that I can be deceived"
Many
people have a hard time accepting failure in a relationship. It was
very likely that the signs of deception were eminent, but Durst, by
the understanding of his previous lyrics, was in denial because the
truth would make him question his manhood and ability as a lover.
This is a common concern with any healthy young heterosexual male.
What isn't healthy though is not accepting his place in the
relationship. He has faults like the rest of us do, but his pride is
that of a father who's son's Harvard education is keeping him in
financial decadence during the later years of his life. He is a smart
man, he thinks, as we all do, but we generally can't see our
intelligence in the proper perspective then that of an outsider.
People have a tendency to overestimate their abilities most of the
time.
"By
my so called girl, but in reality
Had
hidden agenda"
This
is post break up paranoia at its most evident. By his understanding
he has been plotted against. Presumably along with his former
“homeez.” This shows major signs of Paranoid Schizophrenia in the
sufferer. A disease where irrational thought and nameless blame are
the order of the day. Not somebody you would trust with your coke.
"She
put my tender heart in a blender
And
still I surrendered
Hey,
like a chump"
She
emasculated him to a distressing degree, yet he still shoulders the
blame for the relationship's misgivings. He simply can not believe
that something as beautiful as a tender courtship with his ex, with
all the love and emotionally fulfilling effort on his part, was in
all reality, a forced facade Durst put himself through despite the
warning signs around him.
[chorus]
"I'm
only human
Its
so easy for your friends to give you their advice
They
tell you to let it go
But
its easier said then done"
He
has here acknowledged that a: he has other trustworthy friends in
which he can confide. And b: he is frustrated that his understanding
of his relationship cannot be empathized with by his fellow
colleagues, who, as with the rest of us over the age of eighteen,
cannot understand why someone would pretend everything was on the up
when in fact his girlfriend, if one was to assume, was possibly
getting sugary confections shoved up her rectum by his “homeez.”
"I
appreciate it
I
do, but just leave me alone
Leave
me alone
Just
leave me alone!
Just
leave me alone!"
These
pronouncements of self alienation have deep psychological scars
associated with growing up an outsider of the mainstream. Being a
skater punk, a persona not well favored by the hierarchy of
popularity the late eighties and / or mid nineties when he was
an adolecent, has only cemented his feelings on personal autonomy in
what can be said has proved the most absurd role reversal imaginable.
From punk to jock he most likely is taking on the persona of the
oppressors of his youth, giving him emotional strength in the way an
African man will call his fellow African American man a *explicative
removed*. However over the course of his illustrious career he has
grown un-ironically into the role of the supreme misogynist, with his
music being a monument to the Y chromosome.
"Aint
nothin' gonna change
If
you can go away
Im
just gonna stay here and always be the same
Aint
nothin' gonna change"
It
is always hard to contemplate the finality of life and your place in
the world. Perhaps things are beyond your control. Many people in
this situation feel hopeless as to whether or not their predicament
will ever get better. It has been proven that with proper psychiatric
care and medication it is possible to overcome the symptoms of Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder. But such treatments only work if the
rehabilitating party agrees to work on the things that trouble him
rationally and with great consciousness.
"If
you can go away"
Without
said proper therapy and work on the behalf of the bereaved, self
esteem can plummet to worrisome lows when in the face of a traumatic
experience. Especially when the parting of his ex has raised so many
existential conundrums such as a clearly repressed fascination with
the anus. Durst, whom at the time of the song being wrote, could not
see an agreeable solution to his dilemma, has chosen to deal with it
through the very public forum of FM radio stations and MTV (During
their period of actively airing music videos circa 1981 to 2008)
through the use of musical arrangement.
This
line best represents the underlying fact that he presumably still
wants for her affection, but cannot except her absence as a reality.
Surely the subject is suffering from delusion that he is a
serviceable lover.
"Im
just gonna stay here and always be the same
Aint
nothin' gonna change
If
you can go away
Im
just gonna stay here and always be the same"
It
appears that Mr. Durst has come to accept his mental illness related
shortcomings and is fine with the way he is. But does Mr. Durst truly
believe this? Has he accepted her resignation and moved on?
Apparently not. Because exactly a track later he goes on to “Break
Stuff.” But the impact of ode reckless property damage is best left
for another article.
It
has been a long running irony when such a serious problem is set to a
catchy hook and adored merely on its pop value with many of the
song's fan base unaware of its deeply tragic sub-contexts within the
layers of bitter confessional poetry that was born out of the pain
one acquires from a deeply affecting loss.
It's
also an allegory for saying “Bitch! You ain't nothing but a hole to
me!”
As
to which explanation is true, the only man who knows for sure will
perhaps never elaborate on the more personal aspects of his life.
Except when he's talking about titty fucking a groupie. That stuff is
pertinent information.
