Grilled Cheese
From Hades!
By: David
McGhee
I am currently
eating a delicious grilled cheese samich with four, count them, four
apple slices. I owe all this and more to my best beau Franky Poo. He
doesn't really poo all that much though. But I find that it fits.
More about the
samich. It has been manufactured with pepper jack cheese. Some
deliciously delicious gourmet white bread, and a panini press. Holy
shit this is awesome!
I just ate my
apples. I miss them now. Without apples how will I tame the fire in
my mouth that will surely ensue if I ingest this wonderful piece of
foodstuffs! Oh poor me.
I'm diving in
now.
First bite:
Crunchy and full of butter spread goodness. Oh! Oh! I can taste the
pepper jack cheese now. It's so spicy! It wants me to eat more. I
will keep you all informed as this major media event goes down.
Second bite:
Well, I'm holding in there. I remember being little and eating
grilled cheese samiches. Although I remember nothing about that ever
happening. But I know it did. Perhaps David medicatedeth too much
whilst a young boy? A young boy with jiggly!
Third bite:
Okay dudes and bitches. Shit just got real. I'm like eating this
samich and this dude on a bike comes by. He ain't all that pretty but
I let him pass me just the same. Stupid not attractive bike riders.
Fourth bite:
Then a tall, handsome bike rider came by and was all like “What's
up?” I was all like “Nothin' homie.” And he was all “Coo.”
And I was all like “Coo.” You know. Cause' we coo.
Fifth bite: I
love it when Frank buys great cheese! It's totally real cheese too! I
am thinking about making this a daily habit. That and bike shorts.
I would like
to inform you more on my gastrothingy, but the time has come... For
me to watch Monster's University! Hurray! I love free Redbox rentals.
:-D
More on this
in a few...
...Well. It's
been one hundred and four minutes since starting that movie. And now
I'm done. Monster's University was, flat out, not as good as the
first one. Or the second one? It's a prequal. Meaning that it takes
place before the first one. Something like that.
I was
personally offended with this movie and it's lack of explicit monster
sex. Plus where was the booze and drugs? Why when I was in college I
did crack! It kinda got me some bad grades and shit... Crack and
cocaine and heroin ruined my life. I like drugs because they are
better than any other antidepressant or antipsychotic. I'm never sad
on drugs, aside from when the cops bust me. That's always a buzzkill.
Now I don't
even drink. I smoke the green stuff but so what? What are you my mom?
Because if you were then you'd be dead. Why would a dead person read
my blog? That's just gross.
Speaking of
gross. Female pubes Eeewww...
I know what
you are all thinking now. Why mention the pubes when there are three
fingers being chewed on all day and night by Mrs. Vickie. Yes, Mrs.
Vickie drank her high ball and always invited all the pizza men and
milkman (They still exist!) into her living room. Where she'd drink
more vodka and talk about how Roger don't know how to please a woman.
What happens next is usually the guy's fault. I mean, she is pretty
hot. So warm and pudding like...
I was reading
Stephen King when I farted. His writing is very fart. If I could fart
Stephen King I'd fart him about my fart and his book fart. It farted
me so very much. :-)
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