Interview with Two Tone Wolf Pack (The singer at least.)

When I saw Two Tone Wolf Pack play the other week at the Hi Dive (Denver) I knew immediately that they were hot. Not just hot, but they could sing well too! What with the singer's low manly grumble to the bass player's "fuck me" falsetto. And don't get me started on their accordion player! HOLY HELL!

When I'm not dreaming of being gang banged by these guys, I also find the time to appreciate their dark and haunting atmosphere of their amazing music.

And here's a pretty picture of the awesome dudes *via my friend Lisa Cooke's Truly Rejected magazine*

And now for the inappropriate (and sometimes racist) questions!

Enjoy! :-D

1: Well... So here we are... Any last requests before I swing you from a dead tree?

Look! Over there! It's a diversion!....

2: I just saved you. What kind of pants would you buy me for saving your life?

Easy. Filson Double Tin Cloth Pants... Wind,Water,&Fire Resistant, and Guaranteed for life as long as you don't put them in the washing machine.

3: Let's talk about your bass player. Does he get a lot of groupies? I'm sure you all do, but what about him?

To help keep his anonymity, we'll call him Danathan Evanderfield Garzan. He's more or less knee deep in groupies, and can't hardly do anything but beat them off with a stick.

4: Let's just get this out of the way... Show me your feet!

He misread my request. No one should have to look at shoes covering wonderfully wonderful bare feet! GRRR!!!

5: By the way, who are you and what do you do in the band? For anonymity's sake I'll go by Johnald, and I play Vocals and Sing Guitar.

6: Why Americana / Folk instead of hardcore metal or pop punk or hardcore pop punk? Americana/Folk is the people's music, and has been for way longer than any of those others..... also it's cheaper gear.

7: If I'm talking to the right person, show me your beard!

Ladies, he has manliness to spare! Seriously, this doesn't make you wet?

8: How did you guys meet up and make such wonderful music?

it's called dating. you mean when&how did we start going steady? Mainly online dating websites is how we met.

9: What brand of guitar do you have? (or bass, drums, accordion, whomever may be answering this)

I try and play my '51 Stella Harmony when ever I can.

10: What is your take on Obamacare? Shouldn't we all be denied healthcare just because it makes Republicans upset? Or if you are a Republican then, why?

Well if we're gonna be taxes to a Government, and a government is supposed to ensure our well being why wouldn't that include being allocated heavily towards health? I'd rather spend that money on health than on some vauge terms like "the fight against terrorism" or "the war on drugs."

11: What sort of influences influenced you guys? I mean musically, not your sexy pants.

I would point you towards reading the Introduction to Alan Lomax's Prison Songs Volume 1 "Murderous Home" Also a lot of Pop Music.

12: While we're on the subject, what kind of pants do you prefer?

I prefer pants that fit well. You know 30"x34" is Slim Fit.

13: If you could only save two people in the world and transport them to safety on a NASA rocket thingy, what kind of ice cream would you eat?

Little Man's Salted Oreo Ice Cream. Easiest question yet.

14: I'm sitting here drinking a diet soda. Entertain me!

Look! Over there! It's that Diversion again!

15: What is your name? And why should I capitalize it? Are you really that primpy and such that you can't stand to have your name un-capitalized?

You're not my real Dad!

16: If you could eat any fish, which one would most likely get blood thrown on you from PETA

Orca's? I think that's a mammal? Baby Dolphin? no, that's a mammal too... This one's too hard. Can we skip?.... Nope, I've got it! Fish sticks! But more because of the industries they're made by that what kind of fish it is.

17: What is your take on cows? Should we eat them? They are pretty stupid creatures. One time I punched a cow and it just sort of looked at me. I mean... What the fuck man!?

Hey man Cows and Dads are Cops too ya know.

18: Do you guys have a website or something you'd like me to post?

www.twotonewolfpack.com (of course!)

Plus you can get their facebook stuff here!

And listen to their darkly sweet take on... You know what? They are sort of a punk Munly.

Anyways: Here's their music!

19: When you sweat on stage, are you thinking of mass genocide?

not regularly.

20: Why the name “Two Tone Wolf Pack?” I mean, does it have significant attachment or did it just sort of came about as a way to book shows? Personally I think you guys should be called “Those sexy guys in that band that does the music and such!”

Two Tone Wolf Pack was originally a gang name. A gang for kids who only want to wear Wolf T-shirts. I think we just admired that audacity.

Also, Thanks. You're pretty cute yourself.

And now for a picture of a pug being all pug and shit. :-D