Interview with Brandon Richard Whalen (of My Body Sings Electric)

Interview with Brandon Richard Whalen (of My Body Sings Electric)

By: David McGhee

My Body Sings Electric is sort of a band with hardcore guitars and indie vocals. The kids seem to like it so I have decided to exploit his fame and interview him for my own interests. That being said, this guy is pretty hot. Maris The Great was right, all the cute boys go to hardcore shows.

Wiser words have never been said. Because at hardcore show you got all the tall skinny sexy men taking off their shirt. I'd like to think they're doing it for me, but something tells me that skinny people just like showing off their sexy mcsex bodies.

I know if I wasn't short and chubby I'd be manwhoring it up!

Now for teh interview! :-D

1: Does your body really sing electric? I mean... Wouldn't that hurt?

It probably would hurt. The name was inspired by a poem by Walt Whitman called I Sing The Body Electric. It's sort of a nod to the way music can affect your mind and your body. It's also a little look at some personal philosophies of mine and maybe some of the other guys.

"Was it doubted that those who corrupt their own bodies conceal themselves; 5 And if those who defile the living are as bad as they who defile the dead? And if the body does not do as much as the Soul? And if the body were not the Soul, what is the Soul?"

2: How tall are you and what does that have to do with your current local fame?

I'm very average height. 5'10'' ish. Right in the meaty part of the curve. I have no idea how it impacts my "local fame."

3: Remember Monroe Monroe? Such a good band.

Hell yeah! Our bassist Jason did some bassing for them. They are great guys and made really killer music.

4: What kind of geetar do you use?

I mostly play my Takamine fp360sc. It's a 90's japanese only model that is kind of rare here in the states. I swing between loving and hating it.

I also have a 1976 Les Paul that was passed down to me by my father and I will murder anyone who even looks at it.

5: Have you ever had any formal training in geetaring or singing?

I took one semester of vocal lessons in college. Other than that I am completely self taught, of course with some help from my bandmates who are incredible and well trained musically.

6: As I have warned you, show us your bare feet!

You don't want to see what's going on down there. I wear sandals a lot (not ashamed) so catch me in the summer.

Approximation of Brandon's feet 

7: Do you guys get like a buttload of tail? Like in dirty groupies that would do anything to you or would let them do things to you?

I'm actually married, so my tail-getting days are over. Who knows if there are those groupies out there, I usually identify people's intentions right off the bat and slip out of any potentially awkward situations.

8: I hope you are using condoms. Are you using condoms?

No need. See question above.

*David's note: He must want to get some babies! HE MAKE BABIES!

9: What do you do for a day job?

I am a social media marketing strategist and head of marketing for Room 214 in Boulder, CO. Big boy job.

10: Are you going to release a new album? What will it be like? Any chance of it having some boobies on the cover?

We are releasing an album on Jan 28th called Part 1: The Night Ends. It will be a fun little journey, more indie, not so much pop punk (I still don't understand that description of us). There's a little side boob on the cover which is rad.

11: How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck couldn't do it's taxes?

Are you asking for the wood chuck, or the government?

12: Are you seeing anyone right now? Or have you ever met someone that made you want to throw up because he / she was just so fine?

I am seeing my wife... until one of us dies or eternity or whatever. I have met someone who made me want to throw up because she is so beautiful so I wifed that gurl up.

13:What would you say that seeing you in person caused me a bit of Stendhal syndrome? That's like when you see something so beautiful that you are paralyzed.

I would be quite flattered... and also suspicious that you may be exaggerating. Regardless, thanks I put a lot of work into growing this beard.

14: If I would to ever save your life from a catastrophic explosion, how many tacos would you get for me?

That's probably worth a six pack and pound from Taco John's. It's quite a bit of food. Shoutout to my Wyoming people.

15: Let's get serious here for a moment, when did you lose your virginity? The world MUST know!

Oh gosh.... haha. I was 18 I think. I remember thinking... "that wasn't much of a big deal now was it?"

16: If you could piss off PETA, what kind of animal would you gleefully slaughter for the privilege?

IF I were in fact going to achieve this hypothetical goal to the fullest extent I would have to go with something incredibly cute, so sloth or red panda. Not that I would support anything like that.

17: Do you like to read? Because that would make you sooooooooooooooo hot! (Aside from the amazing body you already have.)

I do like to read! I'm just finishing up Demon Haunted World by Carl Sagan. It's been a great reminder to always be skeptical of people who claim to know "the truth." PS. Thanks... been working on my bod a lot this year.

18: How did you guys meet up? Much like many Marvel Superheroes, everyone has an origin story.

My old band Arms Over Colorado played with Nick and Jeff's old band Nemonic. Then we realized we were best friends and the rest is history.

19: Any brand of soda you'd like to give a shout out too?

AYYY MELO YELLO THANKS FOR ALL THE FREE SWAG, DELICIOUS DRINKS AND SPARE MUSIC GEAR AT SXSW THAT ONE TIME IT MADE MY TRIP ALL REFRESHING AND SHIT!

20: In less than three words, describe your sleeping habits.

Up

All

Night

Interview with Little Fyodor (Of the Little Fyodor and Babushka variety)

Interview with Little Fyodor (Of the Little Fyodor and Babushka variety)

By: David McGhee

I remember the first time I saw Little Fyodor I thought to myself 'What the hell!?' And when I was over that shock I immediately thought 'Is he human?' And finally I came to 'Holy fuck! This is so punk rock!'

I remember him and Babushka taking me in when I was too scared to face my father at home. They gave me soup for Christ's sake! I mean, what the fuck!?

So to get me some pay back for all the things I didn't do for them, I am making him answer my questions. Twenty questions to be exact.

And if he doesn't deliver then I'll probably just download his music for free. After all, I deserve that much out of this relationship.

I'd face fuck that!

1: Is your name really Fyodor? That's so Jewish! In my reality, it really is. Though in reality, Russians hate Jews (especially Dostoevsky)!

2: Did you know that every time you jack off you're killing six million Jews? That makes you worst than Hitler! Sins of the flesh. Hitler couldn't resist, and neither can I!!

3: When did you start playing the geetar? When I was twelve. That was so long ago I only remember false memories of it.

4: What brand of geetar do you use? What color and type and model and manufacture. And if you could give me the serial code, that would be greeeeeaaaat. I play two geetars. The one my Mommy bought me when I was twelve is a Kalamazoo, what Creedence Clearwater Revival sang about the poorboys twanging the rhythm out on. Then in a similar act of charity, my Walls Of Genius bud Ed sold me his 1974 Stratocaster for cheap. Cool shit.

5: Do you really believe that you deserve love? Not inherently. But I've sold my soul for it, that's why I deserve it, dammit!!

6: When you drink beer, what kind of ice cream would you eat afterwords? I've seen ice cream made from beer. Good shit!

7: It's twenty, twenty, twenty four hours to go. Do you wanna be sedated? I'm either under or over. Oh to be the Buddha!!

8: How did you learn to sing... Like THAT!? You don't learn insanity like this, buddy boy. It's just doing what comes naturally.

9: Do the world a favor AND SHOW US YOUR MANLY FEET!!!

They just ooze manly! (among other substances)

10: If two wood chucks chucked wood and the other two just polished their nails, then how does that equal 42? WHY IS IT ALWAYS 42!? Why not?

11: Do you like to read? If so what are your favorite books? I'm reading a book about law and disorder in the Wild West right now. Mostly I read bios of rock stars. Good shit.

12: If you would ever write a book, what would it be about? I used to want to write novels about societal neurosis. But it was easier to write songs.

13: How many slugs have you killed whilst doing the Dance Of The Salted Slug? I may have killed one friendship. It was heading that way anyhows.

14: I know I'm going to regret this but... would you consider taking me to the prom? You think I would take someone who asked to be? That's not how it works, buddy boy!

15: What is your favorite album you made? Beneath The Uber-Putz has the best songs, but Idiots Are Closer to God is more fun.

16: What's your favorite local bands? I mean... Other than Goodbye Timebomb, The Milkshakes, and Ginkins. The Inactivists, The Taints, Suzi Homewreker, Mr. Pacman, The Buckingham Squares.... I'm sure I missed a million.

17: I can't think of anything. Would you do a jig for me? As in, the jig's up, buddy boy?

18: Sweet tea or unsweetened tea? You answer may just result in the matrix collapsing. Slightly sweetened. Now I feel it closing in!

19: Why am I so attracted to you? I dunno. Maybe you're nuttier than Mr. Hanky after a trail mix fest?

20: If you were to ever go bungee jumping, what kind of meat would you eat in access quantities before jumping? Something that came from a pig.

You can find all things Fyodor right hea! :-D