Biblical Porno
1: Mary of Nazareth, thy name is lust and surely be put to death. 2: Her body made of milk offered from our blessed father. 3: With hair so amber and brown (although she was from the middle east) she doth makes thine loins call out to the name of the angel Gabrial. 4: She will be unclean for thirty three days. 5: Hunger doth strikes when wetness is good. 6: Pizza man show up I demand you! She says from the mounts of Sinai. 7: His name be Joseph and he be bearing fruit for the Virgin Mary. 8: Slowly Joseph would soon retire his garments to the offering. 9: Revealing a mighty and unholy beast. 9: Mary doth squirts with the sight of sin and it is good. 10: Joseph is but a fine warrior. 11: Joseph lasts for forty days and forty nights a miracle for the many whom are uncircumcised. 12: Mary’s sin is but a tight vessel from which our savoir came. 13: Joseph does blow a load onto yonder virgin face. 14: God was pleased and it was good.
Shakespearian Porno
Romeo: A light through yonder window breaks, I am the east and Juliet is the sun. For thou art strong and true, with loins that scream for the soft touch from mine milky hands. Woman! I demand me satisfaction of thine love!
Juliet: Romeo, Romeo, where art thou Romeo? I do want to partake in such misgivings yet my fear is that we create a life so unwanted.
Romeo: I be sterile and a beast from afar!
Romeo: My lust, it is but me expressing feelings so deep and my want so strong.
Romeo: I go to war tomorrow… Yeah…
Juliet: Really?
Romeo: Yeah. I might not make it back.
Juliet: You poor thing!
*Romeo nuts on Juliet’s chest*
Catholic Porno
A married man and woman fuck, then they cry about it.
